Right Now and Before

Today is one of those days where I just cant concentrate. I figured this would be a good time to write a little.
I havent posted anything after New Year and a lot has happened in 2016. A few days after I published that blog post, my pre-board exams started. I got the worst marks I've ever scored as yet. Not that it bothered me because I completely expected that to happen.
I had my Farewell in February. The ceremonial goodbye my school gave me was an eight hour affair. I wore a red saree which was an unusual colour for me to choose. However, I decided that I might as well dress up for the day. Incidentally, my sister/cousin, whatever you prefer to say, was here and she is an expert. But for her, I'd have looked like a banshee (in other words, what I look like everyday).
Personally, I never care much for physical appearance but the few days before the Farewell had been horrible (I kept breaking down and crying for no reason). The event was a welcome change from being holed up in my house and sometimes you do feel good when you look good and are complimented for it. I dress in a very simple manner to school (Uniform, watch, spectacles and hair tied in a plait). Not even ear rings or kajal. Ear rings hurt after a while and I'd smudge the kajal within an hour. Honestly, applying kajal is a commitment I do not want to make frequently simply because I would rub my eyes absent-mindedly. Anyway, when I showed up in a red and gold outfit, most of friends were taken aback (in a good way). Managing a saree for eight hours is stressful and while nothing went wrong, it took four to five trips to the washroom to ensure that every pin was in place. Apart from that, the cultural programme was cut short for some reason, my friend Sumedha's shoe's sole came out (We spent forty minutes looking for feviquick. Agh) and my friend Sulagna constantly made me laugh during the Chairman's speech. (He had specifically asked us to keep quiet and give him our undivided attention).
The best part of the day was when we were allowed to take photos. I do not usually take a lot of photos with people but I cast away my inhibition this time and asked almost everyone I am even remotely friends with for a picture together.
The rest of February was uneventful.
March brought upon all class 12 students the dreaded board exams. I would say my exam went off smoother than I could ever have hoped for it to.
I took a week off to refresh myself and gear up for
ENTRANCES.
This is where the real game begins.
My holiday week was the most relaxed I've been since the Summer of 2015 when I went on a short trip to Gopalpur. I spent some time with my sisters and brother-in-law, played Holi with my friends, had pizza, watched Inception and Kapoor and Sons.
Crash Course for the exam began on 29th and it was back to the grind for me.
My exams are ten days away.
I try to be confident but there is always a part of me that tells me that things wont work out for me. I've worked hard and I can rely upon myself to do well but at times the whole thing seems so intimidating that I feel like I'm not doing enough.
Apart from that, I definitely am excited. Yes, the exams are near but so is the end. For the last six-seven months looking forward to the month of June has kept me going. I dream of sleeping, reading books, watching movies, hanging out with my friends, going swimming and maybe go out of town for a few days. All of this seemed like a obscure dream but now it is within my reach. Plus, this mixed feeling of excitement and intimidation about going to college is pretty interesting. I have no clue about what lies in store but I only have to cross this one last hurdle to find out.