I like things as they are. Well, except school. When anyone asks me the question "How is life?", all I say in reply is "Chaluchi" which is oriya for "It is going on". It isn't like I am sticking to the general pattern of conversations. It is the truth.
One word to describe my life is 'boring'. Not that I don't have friends but with higher secondary school things changed drastically. Moreover, I happen to be a person who hates getting bored more than anything else. However, I also happen to be a person who gets bored and never does anything to change that. Off late, everything in my life has been constant. The same people, same places, same books and the same things to do. I recently finished reading Papertowns by John Green. In the book, Q says that he likes routine. He says that he does get bored but he likes it. I really could not see sense in that when I read it. But on second thought I see what it means. I HATE boredom, but it is the one thing that is constant in my life. New things rarely happen to me.
On the face of it, I seem to be a very ideal person, a person who accepts routine. And that is true, I never really try to change anything. At the same time, I hate monotony. 'I want to live an extraordinary life' much like Augustus Waters (John Green references are sort of coming to me) however, I do not fear oblivion. I want to do great things yes, but there is no compulsion of being remembered. Being remembered has its price. I want the ones who love me to remember me. The memory of me will leave the world when they do. The world is welcome to remember me if it likes. I want to make a difference, travel the world and do all the things I love. It is altogether an unrealistic dream and a wise wizard said that 'It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live'. Hence, the monotony. I realise that the things I want to do are within my reach if I excel in the career path I have chosen. So, to get to live this amazing life I have to give up a few more months of 'extraordinary'.
I see around me all kinds of people. I see the 'goody two shoes' and the rebels. I see people who stick to routine and the people who lie at home everyday and have a new experience. I see people who have never tasted even a drop of alcohol and people who get drunk every single day. I am not as proper as I seem. I do not judge people based on habits. It isn't like I wont do any of these things ever, but I am willing to wait a little.
The thing is that here I am with my concerns about my parents, my friends and my studies and then there are people who have huge allowances, race cars, bunk school and get drunk. While they're off being 'teenagers', I sit with my books. The contrast is crystal clear. Maybe some day, sometime, things will be different but at the moment, I like them as they are.
One word to describe my life is 'boring'. Not that I don't have friends but with higher secondary school things changed drastically. Moreover, I happen to be a person who hates getting bored more than anything else. However, I also happen to be a person who gets bored and never does anything to change that. Off late, everything in my life has been constant. The same people, same places, same books and the same things to do. I recently finished reading Papertowns by John Green. In the book, Q says that he likes routine. He says that he does get bored but he likes it. I really could not see sense in that when I read it. But on second thought I see what it means. I HATE boredom, but it is the one thing that is constant in my life. New things rarely happen to me.
On the face of it, I seem to be a very ideal person, a person who accepts routine. And that is true, I never really try to change anything. At the same time, I hate monotony. 'I want to live an extraordinary life' much like Augustus Waters (John Green references are sort of coming to me) however, I do not fear oblivion. I want to do great things yes, but there is no compulsion of being remembered. Being remembered has its price. I want the ones who love me to remember me. The memory of me will leave the world when they do. The world is welcome to remember me if it likes. I want to make a difference, travel the world and do all the things I love. It is altogether an unrealistic dream and a wise wizard said that 'It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live'. Hence, the monotony. I realise that the things I want to do are within my reach if I excel in the career path I have chosen. So, to get to live this amazing life I have to give up a few more months of 'extraordinary'.
I see around me all kinds of people. I see the 'goody two shoes' and the rebels. I see people who stick to routine and the people who lie at home everyday and have a new experience. I see people who have never tasted even a drop of alcohol and people who get drunk every single day. I am not as proper as I seem. I do not judge people based on habits. It isn't like I wont do any of these things ever, but I am willing to wait a little.
The thing is that here I am with my concerns about my parents, my friends and my studies and then there are people who have huge allowances, race cars, bunk school and get drunk. While they're off being 'teenagers', I sit with my books. The contrast is crystal clear. Maybe some day, sometime, things will be different but at the moment, I like them as they are.
Its beautiful dude :)
ReplyDeleteHa ha, your post gives me the confidence that I'm not the only one to go through intense feelings of boredom, and do nothing about it.
ReplyDeleteWasn't change supposed to be the only constant and not boredom? Now that I think of it, I feel this boredom will have its price too and there are inevitably going to be days in the future where we'll yearn for a little bit of break, a little rest. We'll look back on these days and smile at how stupid we were to wish them away. Nothing lasts forever after all ;D