Right Now and Before

Today is one of those days where I just cant concentrate. I figured this would be a good time to write a little.
I havent posted anything after New Year and a lot has happened in 2016. A few days after I published that blog post, my pre-board exams started. I got the worst marks I've ever scored as yet. Not that it bothered me because I completely expected that to happen.
I had my Farewell in February. The ceremonial goodbye my school gave me was an eight hour affair. I wore a red saree which was an unusual colour for me to choose. However, I decided that I might as well dress up for the day. Incidentally, my sister/cousin, whatever you prefer to say, was here and she is an expert. But for her, I'd have looked like a banshee (in other words, what I look like everyday).
Personally, I never care much for physical appearance but the few days before the Farewell had been horrible (I kept breaking down and crying for no reason). The event was a welcome change from being holed up in my house and sometimes you do feel good when you look good and are complimented for it. I dress in a very simple manner to school (Uniform, watch, spectacles and hair tied in a plait). Not even ear rings or kajal. Ear rings hurt after a while and I'd smudge the kajal within an hour. Honestly, applying kajal is a commitment I do not want to make frequently simply because I would rub my eyes absent-mindedly. Anyway, when I showed up in a red and gold outfit, most of friends were taken aback (in a good way). Managing a saree for eight hours is stressful and while nothing went wrong, it took four to five trips to the washroom to ensure that every pin was in place. Apart from that, the cultural programme was cut short for some reason, my friend Sumedha's shoe's sole came out (We spent forty minutes looking for feviquick. Agh) and my friend Sulagna constantly made me laugh during the Chairman's speech. (He had specifically asked us to keep quiet and give him our undivided attention).
The best part of the day was when we were allowed to take photos. I do not usually take a lot of photos with people but I cast away my inhibition this time and asked almost everyone I am even remotely friends with for a picture together.
The rest of February was uneventful.
March brought upon all class 12 students the dreaded board exams. I would say my exam went off smoother than I could ever have hoped for it to.
I took a week off to refresh myself and gear up for
ENTRANCES.
This is where the real game begins.
My holiday week was the most relaxed I've been since the Summer of 2015 when I went on a short trip to Gopalpur. I spent some time with my sisters and brother-in-law, played Holi with my friends, had pizza, watched Inception and Kapoor and Sons.
Crash Course for the exam began on 29th and it was back to the grind for me.
My exams are ten days away.
I try to be confident but there is always a part of me that tells me that things wont work out for me. I've worked hard and I can rely upon myself to do well but at times the whole thing seems so intimidating that I feel like I'm not doing enough.
Apart from that, I definitely am excited. Yes, the exams are near but so is the end. For the last six-seven months looking forward to the month of June has kept me going. I dream of sleeping, reading books, watching movies, hanging out with my friends, going swimming and maybe go out of town for a few days. All of this seemed like a obscure dream but now it is within my reach. Plus, this mixed feeling of excitement and intimidation about going to college is pretty interesting. I have no clue about what lies in store but I only have to cross this one last hurdle to find out.

FAN: Review

After Happy New Year and Dilwale, critics and online journalists were of the opinion that Shah Rukh Khan, "the actor", is now gone. I have only one thing to say to all those people-
In your faces.

Fan is definitely a fine display of Shah Rukh Khan's skills. In this unconventional thriller, Shah Rukh plays a double role- super star Aaryan Khanna and his greatest fan, Gaurav Chandna. He fits into both roles seamlessly. His portrayal of Gaurav Chandna showcases his acting prowess in the best possible manner. Aaryan Khanna is somewhat like Shah Rukh himself. While it is the easier of the two roles to perform, it was done perfectly.
Gaurav Chandna is an average Delhi boy who runs a cyber cafe. But what is unique about him is that he not only worships Aaryan Khanna, he also looks somewhat like him. Every year, Gaurav imitates Aaryan in a competition organised in their locality and never fails to win. It is his dream to meet Aaryan on his birthday, give him a hug and give his trophy to him. However, there is a fine line between love and obsession. When events take an unexpected turn, a  psychotic beast awakes in Gaurav and this sweet boy from a humble background transforms into a rather scary personality.
But if you ask me, when you read between the lines, Fan conveys lots of messages.
I have been a Shah Rukh fan for 14 years and I relate to Gaurav in many ways. Meeting Shah Rukh and going to Mannat on 2nd November are definitely in the list of the many things I want to do. As he puts it- It all begins with a connection and this connection is really a strange thing when you think about it. Loving people who do not even know of your existence more than yourself is probably the weirdest thing to do. To be honest, I couldnt give you one good reason as to why I do this except maybe the line in the movie, "Tu nahi samjhega."
But my perception of what a true fan is varies from that of Gaurav Chandna's and is essentially what the movie tries to convey. Being a fan is amazing. It lifts us up in our worst times. However, forgetting about your own identity? Probably not the best idea.
It isnt just about making it to first day, first shows. It is about being inspired by the hard work they put in to achieve what they have. So be it Shah Rukh Khan or JK Rowling or whoever, their story inspires me more than anything. Having said that, Fan also tells us that fans make superstars.
Although there was one loose end (sort of) in the plot as to how Gaurav got the resources to pull off all that he did, the movie left me thinking for a long time. I have to say, I'm pleased to see Shah Rukh Khan back to his old ways. This was his show. Another great aspect is the fact that it is a songless movie, a decision that I think was wise. Songs would have diluted the effect the movie creates. Songless movies are rare in Bollywood and I do not think commercial actors and superstars have made movies like that yet. Apart from that, the vfx was impressive and the action sequences were great.
Through this dramatic storyline Fan explores this strange celebrity-fan relationship.
Great direction, brilliant acting. What more do you want? Fan is definitely worth watching. I fell in love with Shah Rukh all over again.