Right Now and Before

Today is one of those days where I just cant concentrate. I figured this would be a good time to write a little.
I havent posted anything after New Year and a lot has happened in 2016. A few days after I published that blog post, my pre-board exams started. I got the worst marks I've ever scored as yet. Not that it bothered me because I completely expected that to happen.
I had my Farewell in February. The ceremonial goodbye my school gave me was an eight hour affair. I wore a red saree which was an unusual colour for me to choose. However, I decided that I might as well dress up for the day. Incidentally, my sister/cousin, whatever you prefer to say, was here and she is an expert. But for her, I'd have looked like a banshee (in other words, what I look like everyday).
Personally, I never care much for physical appearance but the few days before the Farewell had been horrible (I kept breaking down and crying for no reason). The event was a welcome change from being holed up in my house and sometimes you do feel good when you look good and are complimented for it. I dress in a very simple manner to school (Uniform, watch, spectacles and hair tied in a plait). Not even ear rings or kajal. Ear rings hurt after a while and I'd smudge the kajal within an hour. Honestly, applying kajal is a commitment I do not want to make frequently simply because I would rub my eyes absent-mindedly. Anyway, when I showed up in a red and gold outfit, most of friends were taken aback (in a good way). Managing a saree for eight hours is stressful and while nothing went wrong, it took four to five trips to the washroom to ensure that every pin was in place. Apart from that, the cultural programme was cut short for some reason, my friend Sumedha's shoe's sole came out (We spent forty minutes looking for feviquick. Agh) and my friend Sulagna constantly made me laugh during the Chairman's speech. (He had specifically asked us to keep quiet and give him our undivided attention).
The best part of the day was when we were allowed to take photos. I do not usually take a lot of photos with people but I cast away my inhibition this time and asked almost everyone I am even remotely friends with for a picture together.
The rest of February was uneventful.
March brought upon all class 12 students the dreaded board exams. I would say my exam went off smoother than I could ever have hoped for it to.
I took a week off to refresh myself and gear up for
ENTRANCES.
This is where the real game begins.
My holiday week was the most relaxed I've been since the Summer of 2015 when I went on a short trip to Gopalpur. I spent some time with my sisters and brother-in-law, played Holi with my friends, had pizza, watched Inception and Kapoor and Sons.
Crash Course for the exam began on 29th and it was back to the grind for me.
My exams are ten days away.
I try to be confident but there is always a part of me that tells me that things wont work out for me. I've worked hard and I can rely upon myself to do well but at times the whole thing seems so intimidating that I feel like I'm not doing enough.
Apart from that, I definitely am excited. Yes, the exams are near but so is the end. For the last six-seven months looking forward to the month of June has kept me going. I dream of sleeping, reading books, watching movies, hanging out with my friends, going swimming and maybe go out of town for a few days. All of this seemed like a obscure dream but now it is within my reach. Plus, this mixed feeling of excitement and intimidation about going to college is pretty interesting. I have no clue about what lies in store but I only have to cross this one last hurdle to find out.

FAN: Review

After Happy New Year and Dilwale, critics and online journalists were of the opinion that Shah Rukh Khan, "the actor", is now gone. I have only one thing to say to all those people-
In your faces.

Fan is definitely a fine display of Shah Rukh Khan's skills. In this unconventional thriller, Shah Rukh plays a double role- super star Aaryan Khanna and his greatest fan, Gaurav Chandna. He fits into both roles seamlessly. His portrayal of Gaurav Chandna showcases his acting prowess in the best possible manner. Aaryan Khanna is somewhat like Shah Rukh himself. While it is the easier of the two roles to perform, it was done perfectly.
Gaurav Chandna is an average Delhi boy who runs a cyber cafe. But what is unique about him is that he not only worships Aaryan Khanna, he also looks somewhat like him. Every year, Gaurav imitates Aaryan in a competition organised in their locality and never fails to win. It is his dream to meet Aaryan on his birthday, give him a hug and give his trophy to him. However, there is a fine line between love and obsession. When events take an unexpected turn, a  psychotic beast awakes in Gaurav and this sweet boy from a humble background transforms into a rather scary personality.
But if you ask me, when you read between the lines, Fan conveys lots of messages.
I have been a Shah Rukh fan for 14 years and I relate to Gaurav in many ways. Meeting Shah Rukh and going to Mannat on 2nd November are definitely in the list of the many things I want to do. As he puts it- It all begins with a connection and this connection is really a strange thing when you think about it. Loving people who do not even know of your existence more than yourself is probably the weirdest thing to do. To be honest, I couldnt give you one good reason as to why I do this except maybe the line in the movie, "Tu nahi samjhega."
But my perception of what a true fan is varies from that of Gaurav Chandna's and is essentially what the movie tries to convey. Being a fan is amazing. It lifts us up in our worst times. However, forgetting about your own identity? Probably not the best idea.
It isnt just about making it to first day, first shows. It is about being inspired by the hard work they put in to achieve what they have. So be it Shah Rukh Khan or JK Rowling or whoever, their story inspires me more than anything. Having said that, Fan also tells us that fans make superstars.
Although there was one loose end (sort of) in the plot as to how Gaurav got the resources to pull off all that he did, the movie left me thinking for a long time. I have to say, I'm pleased to see Shah Rukh Khan back to his old ways. This was his show. Another great aspect is the fact that it is a songless movie, a decision that I think was wise. Songs would have diluted the effect the movie creates. Songless movies are rare in Bollywood and I do not think commercial actors and superstars have made movies like that yet. Apart from that, the vfx was impressive and the action sequences were great.
Through this dramatic storyline Fan explores this strange celebrity-fan relationship.
Great direction, brilliant acting. What more do you want? Fan is definitely worth watching. I fell in love with Shah Rukh all over again.

Happy New Year, 2016.

2015 went by fast. I know this is an incredibly cliched thing to say but I am not lying.
I entered 2015 without any great expectations. How could I? This is the year I entered class 12. "The year" to set upon the path to my career. Of all the things, I chose to be a doctor which is a popularly sought after course which means-
Tough Competition.
So, naturally the preparations, which had started from class 11 itself, picked up pace. Life became centred around studying and exams. This, they say, is the year to be selfish in terms of your studies.
So, ofcourse I never expected the year to be as good as it turned out to be!
It wasn't the best, no. 2013 still wears that crown. All the same it has been a welcome change from 2014 which downright sucked.
I've spent great times with my family and my best friends from Loyola, all of whom mean the world to me. But all of that happened last year as well. What made this year better is the time I've spent in my current school, Sai International. (I dont even go there anymore. Classes are over. No more school for me. I didn't even realise.)
Last year, although I was on good terms with everyone and had friends at Sai, I never really felt like I've got a real friend. That changed this year. I'm sure I have made a few friends I'll keep in touch with no matter what. I've had some great times. We've made some memories and Unwind was like a cherry on the cake. That is the closest I came to actually liking the school.
My fears of having the worst year of my life were disproved. So, thank you, 2015 for being kind although you really aren't ending well. (31st December sucked)
2016, I really need a new 'favourite year' and you've got to be one hell of a year to replace 2013. I really hope that happens because I wouldnt mind having an amazing year after two average years.
Happy New Year everyone, I hope you'll all have a great year ahead. :)

Unwind 2015

If there is one day that Sai International School is the place to be, it is Unwind day.
The school transforms into a carnival ground and enjoyment is the sole purpose of the day. Food, friends and a lot of fun.
The dances and the insane cheering comprised the greater part of my day. I spent the day reuniting with my friend who I haven't been able to talk to for two weeks now.
The atmosphere was absolutely wonderful.
The event ended with amazing fireworks and release of sky lanterns. It was a breath taking moment. At that moment, all students were united.
It was a day packed with great moments and wonderful memories. :)

One man.
One man who wished to wipe an entire race off the face of the Earth.
6 years.
6 years of sorrow, suffering, torture and despair.
6 years of FEAR.
6 million lives.
6 million innocent lives lost in the most destructive war ever.
I think it is pretty clear that I am talking about the Second World War and the Holocaust.
No, I will not bring up a debate now. I believe everyone agrees that it is a dark period of human civilisation.
As it so happens, I watched Schindler's List today. It is the story of a man, Oskar Schindler, a member of the Nazi party who saved the lives of 1200 Jews during the Holocaust. He lost all his fortune in doing so but it earned him the good will of so many people. I realise that 1200 is a very insignificant number in comparison to the number of lives lost in the World War II. However, imagine the courage this man must have had to protect these people from one of the most cruel regimes of all time.
Oskar Schindler's story made me cry. At the same time, Oskar Schindler's story is a small glimmer of hope. It gives us the hope that humanity remains even in the cruelest of times.
However, the sorrow of the Jews is scarring. I have always held the opinion that the Holocaust is one of the most cruel events in history. I have read about the torture inflicted on the people and have tried to learn as much as possible about the war. However, watching this in a movie has left a profound effect on me. The fear, the terror, the agony, the desperation is something we should pray we'll never have to experience. They were driven to a point where they could go to any length to just survive. The trauma is something we will never understand and we should hope we'll never have to.
The World Wars, in my opinion, were wars with no victors. The humiliation and extermination of millions is inhumane and as the most evolved and intelligent species on the earth, we should ideally not commit such heinous acts. There needs to be a better world with no danger of war.

"Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts open."

Let it be so.

Things

I like things as they are. Well, except school. When anyone asks me the question "How is life?", all I say in reply is "Chaluchi" which is oriya for "It is going on". It isn't like I am sticking to the general pattern of conversations. It is the truth.
One word to describe my life is 'boring'. Not that I don't have friends but with higher secondary school things changed drastically. Moreover, I happen to be a person who hates getting bored more than anything else. However, I also happen to be a person who gets bored and never does anything to change that. Off late, everything in my life has been constant. The same people, same places, same books and the same things to do. I recently finished reading Papertowns by John Green. In the book, Q says that he likes routine. He says that he does get bored but he likes it. I really could not see sense in that when I read it. But on second thought I see what it means. I HATE boredom, but it is the one thing that is constant in my life. New things rarely happen to me.
On the face of it, I seem to be a very ideal person, a person who accepts routine. And that is true, I never really try to change anything. At the same time, I hate monotony. 'I want to live an extraordinary life' much like Augustus Waters (John Green references are sort of coming to me) however, I do not fear oblivion. I want to do great things yes, but there is no compulsion of being remembered. Being remembered has its price. I want the ones who love me to remember me. The memory of me will leave the world when they do. The world is welcome to remember me if it likes. I want to make a difference, travel the world and do all the things I love. It is altogether an unrealistic dream and a wise wizard said that 'It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live'. Hence, the monotony. I realise that the things I want to do are within my reach if I excel in the career path I have chosen. So, to get to live this amazing life I have to give up a few more months of 'extraordinary'.
I see around me all kinds of people. I see the 'goody two shoes' and the rebels. I see people who stick to routine and the people who lie at home everyday and have a new experience. I see people who have never tasted even a drop of alcohol and people who get drunk every single day. I am not as proper as I seem. I do not judge people based on habits. It isn't like I wont do any of these things ever, but I am willing to wait a little.
The thing is that here I am with my concerns about my parents, my friends and my studies and then there are people who have huge allowances, race cars, bunk school and get drunk. While they're off being 'teenagers', I sit with my books. The contrast is crystal clear. Maybe some day, sometime, things will be different but at the moment, I like them as they are.

Bajrangi Bhaijaan

First up, I am not a Salman fan. I am far from it to be frank. People usually associate this to the fact that I am a die hard Shah Rukh fan. That is a LIE. I really liked Salman Khan before all his movies turned out to have the same elements based in different settings. This movie though, is beautiful.
As an Indian, my opinion about friendship with Pakistan is conflicted. I really wish for cordial political ties between the nations and also for relations between the citizens to be as they would be between any two people coming from different nationalities. On the other hand, I hold a very different opinion when it comes to military and cricket. However, this movie just shows that fundamentally, Indians and Pakistanis are quite alike and I am not talking about the political scenario here. I am referring to the people. We are both strongly influenced by our culture, we grow up learning to dislike the other, cricket is our religion, we share the mountains and the desert, we have similar houses and lanes and villages and pretty much everything. The only real difference lies in the side of the border our grand parents and great grand parents chose in 1947.
Shahida, a 5 year old Pakistani girl who is deprived of speech, gets seperated from her mother in India while returning home from Delhi. Her family, absolutely distraught, hopes that maybe someone in Hindustan would turn out to be a godsend and help their daughter. Enter, Pawan aka Bajrangi. What follows is a beautiful journey. A journey that changed Pawan and Chand Nawab, their friend in Pakistan, that awoke two nations and made them realise that hatred will destroy them some day. But love is powerful. So powerful that an Indian vowed to safely take a Pakistani girl to her parents with great risk to his own life.
If you aren't even a little touched after seeing this movie, you're not human.
The acting ofcourse, was fantastic. A+ to each and everyone of them. Salman Khan with his transitions from grave to funny and back to grave was incredibly convincing. It was refreshing to see him portray an exceptionally ordinary man with the highest moral principles ever possible. He really is an angel in disguise. He gets you to believe that there really are people in this world who are as selfless and determined as Pawan. Kareena Kapoor may not have a lot of screen time but that in no way makes her unimportant. Usually in movies like these, a love interest seems absolutely unecessary. But this was not like that. She plays the role of a strong girl who stands up for what she believes is right. Nawazuddin Siddiqui has always been fantastic in whatever role he plays. This was no exception. He plays Chand Nawab, a Pakistani journalist struggling to get his reports aired on news channels. He has a huge impact on you. He can stimulate emotions within the audience effortlessly. And saving the best for the last, Harshaali Malhotra who plays Shahida. I cannot even begin to comprehend how a six year old can bring such a difficult role to life so flawlessly. And everytime you look at her, your heart will melt.
What with the worsening India-Pakistan relations, it is heart warming to see such a beautiful rendition of unity between the nations. This movie conveys multiple messages. It really is something to think about.